line up the dominoes / a light wind blows

[standvastig]

Where: Heliodor
When: A few years after Hendrik's promotion
Summary: A seemingly petty curse. A terrible incident on the battlefield.

[In the moments he is conscious enough to string awareness together, he sees blue. A blue sky. Light filtering through the trees. He tries to hold on to that sense, but it blurs under the pressure and pain of everything he feels. A wooden wagon, its wheels rolling over stones and holes in the road. Flashes of cold that bite into him when his skin doesn't feel hot and sweaty. Pain, pain, pain--

A particularly rocky patch of road jostles him against the burlap that provides little protection on the wagon, and merciful darkness takes him.

The field medics fight what the healers cannot, trying to keep General Hendrik's fever down while stemming the blood flow from the grievous wound that took the man's right arm. The giver of the wound -- a nightmarish dragon with teeth capable of piercing plate and chain both -- has the knights rushing back to Heliodor, touting more injured than previous campaigns.

The crowds that see the knights drag themselves back to the castle grounds cannot do much more than look on in shock.]

Comments

[leitstern]

[Jasper watches the deterioration happen; his companion struggling through holding himself together to not holding together at all. The unhappy sight arrests his gaze - brows creasing with worry - but he springs up and hauls his chair off the floor. One hand carries it around the bed and deposits it on the opposite side.

The side where he can cover his friend's hand with his own and hold him close, saying nothing while saying everything.]

[standvastig]

[Hendrik gasps and shudders his way through Jasper reaching for his hand, turning his head away as dry sobs finally eke out of him. Each one struggles out, Hendrik's self-restraint in tatters but still too stubbornly in place to let him simply cry as he had done as a child. Like it or not, he is still surrounded by his wounded men.

He can't look at Jasper as he squeezes his hand as best he can; though his other hand isn't injured, his breathing is still labored.

He says nothing and cannot truly appreciate the gesture in the moment, but the touch buoys him in a time where he feels there is absolutely nowhere to go but down.

In time, he's finally able to settle back against his pillow, pale and exhausted. He stares at the ceiling, trying to piece together thoughts and not quite succeeding.]

[leitstern]

[The sight is one that prompts him to avert his eyes - but he refuses and his emotions leave him with each struggling cry. His hand relaxes its grasp and lets his friend squeeze whenever needed. He keeps silent and watches emotions flicker as thoughts coalesce without form.

He says nothing for a moment and only opens his lips when there is a good period of silence. His own thoughts take in everything he knows about Hendrik; his drive to serve and protect a home that took him in and treated him like family after losing his own.]

Would you prefer His Majesty waits on visiting?

[standvastig]

[The question after such a long stretch of silence holds Hendrik's attention, even if he doesn't answer right away. Putting it off would be just delaying the inevitable, in his mind, and ... as he has already said, the King should be afforded time to look for a replacement.]

No. I should see His Majesty when he can make time.

[He sighs raggedly, settling into a miserable expression that he tries not to direct at Jasper.]

Apologies.

[He couldn't hold up his responsibilities to match Jasper's strategies for the army.]

[leitstern]

As you wish. I estimate he ought arrive within the hour.

[The issue of serving alone in the army is pushed to one side - to be handled upon Carnelian's arrival. He cannot bear the thought of leading alone on his shoulders. Thoughts turn towards the current state of his companion and his own helplessness. Both know he lacks the pleasantness for a soothing bedside manner.]

I hardly doubt he shall offer better comfort than I.

[standvastig]

[What is he to say to that? Hendrik sighs once more, turning his hand to grip at his sheets.]

It is just as well. He has seen many knights into ... retirement over the years.

[Maybe it'll be better if he can find a way to detach himself from the situation.]

[leitstern]

[Jasper wrinkles his nose. It would serve both well to focus on other matters.

He could remind Hendrik that one can serve the country through more than heroics alone - or he could remind him of better times.]

Not all of whom are fortunate enough to listen to his bedtime stories. Though it was mostly I who took charge on that matter.

[standvastig]

[Hendrik goes quiet at Jasper's remarks, the only sounds from him his deep breaths with a bit of a rattle which each exhale. He struggles with letting go of current circumstances and accepting the turn in conversation.]

You are very good at that. Taking charge.

[leitstern]

Would you rather someone else safeguard your affairs?

[Not inherit. Nor assume. Safeguard. His offer to protect and lead his men for his companion's sake - not his own ego.

Not that his ego refuses to surface at this moment. It leads to a thoughtful frown that is directed away from the bed.]

[standvastig]

I do not know.

[His words aren't meant as a slight against Jasper. He truly doesn't know -- doesn't want to be a burden, doesn't want to have to even consider someone else stepping in. But it's inevitable.]

I am sure you can handle it.

[But he doesn't know if Jasper wants to. If he should. If he can handle it in the short term, but need assistance in the future.]

[leitstern]

[Jasper hardens his emotions behind his eyes - knowing Hendrik means no insult but feeling insulted all the same. The men under his friend's command are part of a solid group where each identifies with the other. He might not feel the same but he would protect it for his friend if nothing else.

More than that, he shall handle it because he must.]

Delighted to hear you think so. But no matter. I desire you think about yourself first before you think about your men, Hendrik.

[standvastig]

[Hendrik gives no vocal reply to Jasper's suggestion. It's a sound suggestion and one that shouldn't, in theory, be difficult to do, but Hendrik so very rarely puts himself before others that he doesn't want to think of where to begin.

So he simply nods.

Beyond the beds of the infirmary, there is some audible shuffling and talking, originating from the entrance of the room. It seems that, despite the time of night, the King has arrived.]

[leitstern]

[Distant sounds mean nothing. Nattering and chattering, murmurs beyond the infirmary wall. It is meaningless and he sighs out in frustration - for there is little they can do and nothing he can do. The door cracks open and creaks on its hinges. More voices. More long-winded speeches. Extra annoyances.

It all makes him bristle.

Carnelian's strong tone and direction draw his attention and he rises to his feet. Offering his chair. Offering his time.]

[standvastig]

[Exhausted as he is, Hendrik still musters up the nerves to be stressed about the King'd impending arrival. He makes a brief attempt to sit upright before abandoning it, mostly because Carnelian appears from beyond the curtain that provides a thin veil of privacy for the different patients.

For all of the King's renowned intensity, his face shows signs of fatigue as he acknowledges Jasper with a nod and seats himself on the vacated chair. He looks at Hendrik in silence for a long moment before speaking in a stately tone.

"Your adjutant managed to give me a report before I arrived. All of the men who departed with you this morning are accounted for. We are fortunate there were no fatalities."

Hendrik seems to deflate against his pillow at the unexpected news, releasing tension he was only half-aware he was holding on to.]

[leitstern]

[Jasper leans against the window. He takes a glimpse - Hendrik occupying the head of the bed and Carnelian beside it - and looks towards the curtain. He bristles with the confusion of having plans for assistance that might be rejected. Thins his lips. Notices his shadow and pulls away to stand against the wall.

The only casulty here is Hendrik's ego but he can hardly say that.]

Good news, I dare say, but you may have to drill it into the stubborn mule.

[standvastig]

Jasper...

[Hendrik doesn't have the strength to argue, but that exasperation (if that is what it is; he is in no state to dissect his childhood friend's feelings) has to be acknowledged in some way. Carnelian shakes his head with a wry curl of his lip, seemingly heartened by the small response.

"Hendrik, I want you to rest assured that your men and responsibilities are in good hands for the time being. I know you will not allow yourself to do so until such things are foisted from you, so I will be making a decree tomorrow that your men will be reporting to Jasper while you are recuperating."

Sharp, wizened eyes slide over to the man who seems to be trying to blend into the scenery.

"Unless your fellow general takes any issue with those plans."]

[leitstern]

[Clothes scrunch against the wall: his leather belt scraping against brickwork. He adjusts himself and alters his posture. Confident head. Straight back. Strong defiance all around. His gaze refuses to settle.

The work would burden him, yes, except he welcomes it regardless. It's a matter of pride.]

Absolutely not. Hendrik would be the one with objections, not I.

[standvastig]

["He would be. I agree."

Carnelian nods at his former ward, eyes lingering on him as he assesses his discomfort with the situation. He inwardly debates whether to speak with him immediately after or give him a day to think over everything; whatever the case, Hendrik is the one of more immediate concern.]

Your Majesty, Jasper will be fine for now, but--

[Hendrik bites his tongue when he notices Carnelian raise a hand to stop him, his expression falling into one of guilt. He should know better than to protest when his king speaks.

"You are a knight before you are a general, Hendrik. As such, it is your duty to ensure you are putting your best foot forward for your country." When Hendrik's brows knit together and he remains silent, Carnelian continues. "That means you must give yourself time to mend before protesting changes. You have a long recovery ahead of you."

The reminder of his 'recovery' prompts Hendrik to speak, his anguish poking through in how he cannot meet King Carnelian's eyes.]

I cannot simply recover from this, Your Majesty! How can I-- How can I...

[Carnelian gives Hendrik a moment to try completing that thought; he doesn't want to cut him off at every turn. But when the voiced thought remains incomplete, he decides to turn that into encouragement.

"I want you to focus on that. 'How can I?' I did not send you to Don Rodrigo to see you return unable to handle discouragement and failure."]

[leitstern]

Hendrik.

[Jasper ensures his sharp tone pierces the air from where he stands. His cutting voice is merciless in delivery but honest in approach. The memory of watching this man cry in the same manner as a boy is not one he wishes to endure for a period of time.]

Were I unfortunate enough to be lying in your position what would you have me do? Wallow in my bed or focus on escaping it?

[Suffer his depression or focus on recovery?]

[standvastig]

[There is a flash of hurt visible on Hendrik's face before it is overtaken by a numb frown. He doesn't think the comparison is fair at all. Jasper is well-balanced and has other avenues in which to contribute or find comfort. And he...

He is a cracked shield.

"This is still much, I know. The doctor said you are due medicine for the pain and a change of bandages. We shall see you moved to your rooms tomorrow so you can rest better."

Hendrik stiffly nods, reluctant to say anything after everything that has been said by both the King and Jasper. However, when it becomes apparent that Carnelian is waiting on him, he murmurs.]

I understand. I ... am grateful for the opportunity.

[leitstern]

[The words answer a particular question but open the door to more. Does Hendrik speak words they need to hear? Should he seek their leave? Is he lying? The man is as cunning as a rock.

He folds his arms across his chest but struggles to keep his fingers free from his hair. Strands are curled around his fingertips - and waved away.]

Your good arm can always be turned towards teaching. You have hardly lost your knowledge.

[standvastig]

[Hendrik grimaces at the suggestion, but presses his lips together for a long moment to school away any other visible reaction. He nods again.]

Teaching... Yes, I can do that.

[Reluctant. Unsure.

"In time, Hendrik. You need not make those decisions now." Carnelian stands, offering the injured man a light pat on his whole shoulder before stepping back. "The next step is to rest and see tomorrow."

Hendrik glances up at his king, unable to ignore the touch, before ducking his head in as much of a bow as he can in his current position. Carnelian's approval is silent before he looks to Jasper.

"Jasper, you should be off to bed as well. Double duty awaits you tomorrow."]

[leitstern]

[Disappointment creases the corners of his eyes. The unwillingness to sleep when his friend needs companionship conflicts with his desire to please - and he nods silently with the inten of remaining behind for at least ten minutes. He had often broken curfew to steal from the kitchens, after all.]

As you wish.

[Say more and he might well incriminate himself!]

[standvastig]

[If Carnelian suspects that Jasper intends to stay behind, he makes no comment, and he is soon swept up in talking to the physician as he heads towards the infirmary doors.

Hendrik shows a little more of his discomfort once the king is gone, but still holds himself mostly in reservation. Jasper has been rather harsh so far, and he doesn't wish to give him more ammunition for criticism.]

[leitstern]

[Jasper resumes sitting where Carnelian took over. Hands fold together in his lap and soon his index and middle finger are tapping his thigh. He leans his left elbow on the armrest and angles his head right.]

Perhaps I can stay thirty minutes.

[All Hendrik needs do is agree.]